For Moon

So. I was just reading a dear old friend's blog, one I have not seen in TOO LONG. There was an underlying ache in this blog, a very real, maternal aching or longing for her child to be born. Such a powerful emotion, such strong depth to being a mama. In her blog she asked when it would be her time, and I realize she has given words to my own longing that's been getting particularly strong in the past year.

I worry. I worry about my health, about not being able to have children. I worry about my child surviving. I want to have children so much, so much that when I think about these awful people I know who have mistreated children I honestly believe I could hurt them because of how atrocious their crimes are (one is in jail though so I won't have the chance). I worry about that for my own children. But I want to have them. All that was strength was once weakness. All that you did not know you build upon to learn deeper, know fuller than those who just pass through. Life must be built upon itself in order to be understood, in order to be able to go on through the dark times and through the great sorrows with the right understanding of why things happen.